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Baseball system of describing hook-ups (sex talk inside, nervous Pit broads beware)

Wouldn't a Grand Slam be the girl and either her sister (twins are extra) or best friend who is a Victoria's Secret model?
 
Defs need a way to account for dwarves hacking out batting averages in A-AA ball at best (gross chicks) and those of us grinding out solid long careers w/ good batting avgs in the majors (hot chicks)
 
HBP = blue balls
HR in consecutive ABs = sloppy seconds
Pitching staff throwing to the same catcher = eskimo bros
Hitting the cycle = keeper
 
Strike out vs. robbed of a home run.

In the first scenario, you tried but never came close. In the second, you bought her some drinks, took her home, got her upstairs, then some act of God or other improbable event prevented you from even getting to first.
 
There's got to a be a steroid analogy here somewhere...
 
HailToTheDeacons said:
HBP = blue balls
HR in consecutive ABs = sloppy seconds
Pitching staff throwing to the same catcher = eskimo bros
Hitting the cycle = keeper
Click to expand...
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Hitting for the cycle is already a thing. (Utilizing all three orifices and ending wherever you started in a single session).

Suicide squeeze is undoubtedly going anal without permission.
 
Cockblocked: on-deck hitter gets tossed for arguing balls and strikes before he steps into the box.
 
You know its written by an dwarven interwebbly foreveralone when a freaking fleshlight is mentioned.

To quote my man Travolta, I have done things that would make most of you vomit, but I have still never seen a fleshlight used in any sort of sexual encounter.
 
Full disclosure: fleshlight inclusion was a last-minute add for sexual equality purposes, despite the fact the only 2 Pit chicks who would ever MAYBE post on this thread are AWAR and ITK because they are cool. Felt unfair to mention vibes and d-dos and wet wabbits and beads and stuff without offering a male counterpoint. Personally, I may share the same concern about a broad who produced a fleshlight or pocket pussy. I'd be careful bout sticking my piece in there.
 
Caught in a rundown: when your girl catches you with your side piece
 
I've been waiting about four hours for someone to admit that most of the "hitting" around here is just batting practice. :jerkit:
 
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