So every day when I get back from working out while I'm having my coffee and before I wake the kids up, I write my wife some form of love/affirmation letter and leave it in her work computer for when she starts the day. I was pretty proud of today's effort and I have decided to share with you people.
Dear wife,
I'm very sorry that I didn't Fanta you last night. I'm sure it would've been a Baja Blast, but I was really tired from walking around the zoo all day. Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll let you Dr. my Pepper later. I know that the idea of that will probably put a little Pepsi in your step. It might even make you a little Mtn. Dew-y in your drawers. I just pray that it doesn't leave you all Canada Dry in your nethers. If we get to bang later, I promise not to be Brisk, and I'll give you my Pepsi-Max. That's a lot of soda innuendo for 5:30 in the morning.
I love you,
Mako
So I'm totally closing the deal later, right?