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CT CCXLVIII: CANCEL REDSOXFANS EVERYWHERE!!!!

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not to go 923 on your ass, but there was a recent Atlantic article about the state of adoption -- it's probably not as easy as you think
 
JuiceCrewAllStar said:
not to go 923 on your ass, but there was a recent Atlantic article about the state of adoption -- it's probably not as easy as you think
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Of course it's not easy. And I remember following at least one chat thread poster's struggles to adopt.

If "it's too difficult" is your reason, I'm not buying that as "not self-absorbed"
 
wakephan09 said:
Probably an unpopular one, but no weirder than insisting that the choice not to have kids is a self-absorbed one

What reason would y'all give for not having adopted?
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why does one need a reason? what if it were an unplanned pregnancy?
 
ImTheCaptain said:
nothing green about wealth accumulation
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I am highly skeptical of ESG investing, but have zero doubts that a large number of green-focused investors (whether it be hedge funds or private equity) are true believers trying to make a difference.
 
I'm not making some existential case here. I'll probably have kids myself, but I'd admit I'd be doing it because I think it'd be cool to have little versions of me and my partner and to pass on family traditions and all of that.

Instead of trying to think of exceptions (of which there are probably many) why don't you answer the question yourself (if you want to)
 
More importantly, I bought a pair of Vuori Sunday Performance Joggers this morning.
 
wakephan09 said:
Of course it's not easy. And I remember following at least one chat thread poster's struggles to adopt.

If "it's too difficult" is your reason, I'm not buying that as "not self-absorbed"
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not too difficult procedurally, but the number of kids that are adoptable is much lower now as single parenthood is de-stigmatized and international adoption has been outed for much corruption
 
wakephan09 said:
I'm not making some existential case here. I'll probably have kids myself, but I'd admit I'd be doing it because I think it'd be cool to have little versions of me and my partner and to pass on family traditions and all of that.

Instead of trying to think of exceptions (of which there are probably many) why don't you answer the question yourself (if you want to)
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because i reject the conceit that having children should be an Economic decision
 
JuiceCrewAllStar said:
not to go 923 on your ass, but there was a recent Atlantic article about the state of adoption -- it's probably not as easy as you think
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yeah it's extraordinarily expensive (source: adoptive parent). we went with a state-based agency and paid probably half of what a national for-profit agency costs, but it's still in the tens of thousands. at that point you just feel like you're buying a kid. and it's not like kids don't cost money after you get them. the agency we used only works with 7 couples at a time, and we got lucky in that we were approved in August, and got our son in December. your home study is good for 18 months and they were telling us at first that another couple was about to have to re-up. the agency gave birth parents 2-3 choices by showing them brochures you make and let them make the call. apparently the birth mother's mother said we look like we have fun and she once dated a nice man from Asheville. so completely lucky there.

they don't really work with people looking to make a second adoption, so if we want another kid we will likely need to go national, but there are some other state agencies we could still look at. that's what pisses me off so much (among many other things, obviously) about things like the TX abortion bill. they aren't doing anything to make adoptions easier and much more affordable. because if supposedly you're going to stop killing all these perfectly adoptable babies, then what?
 
you got to listen to your heart
listen to the beat
listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street
 
i didn't really think that hard about having kids, i always had the sense that i wanted kids, but couldn't really pinpoint a good reason why.

once it became real for me, i just wanted do right by him more than anything else. i don't want my son to turn into me (don't need him to play sports or be super into reading), but it would be nice if he knew how to avoid making the same mistakes i made and was a conscientious and thoughtful person. i hope he is cool with going to a community college or state school, that's for sure!

i also think living in a small space constrains the amount of conspicuous consumption i can do on his behalf--it's something i think a good deal about, the carbon footprint of raising a kid. it's a special type of privilege that can think about not buying plastic toys or single use disposable food stuff for kids, and i think in that way it's kind of a microcosm of what it's like trying to be an intentional sustainable consumer in the world today.
 
wakephan09 said:
Probably an unpopular one, but no weirder than insisting that the choice not to have kids is a self-absorbed one

What reason would y'all give for not having adopted?
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When I was of reproductive age I made a decision to have two kids for zero population growth and if I wanted more there after, I'd adopt. 4 months after my second, I got snipped to solidify that plan. I don't think I considered, seriously, adopting from the get go, and I'd suggest it is probably a cultural thing, i.e., the culture I was raised in, North East Irish Catholic, presupposed that everyone has kids, usually lots of them. It was like a base principle, so I definitely challenged that idea and departed from it, but only far enough to commit to zpg. I never put a lot of thought into whether or not I'd have kids, just assumed I would.

Having said all of that, I get a lot of personal pride and satisfaction from my kids regardless of their disproportionate consumption of resources compared to a kid born and raised Indonesia, so I completely agree that there is a level of selfishness to parenthood.
 
JuiceCrewAllStar said:
you still didn't tell me where in croatia and i'm wondering what i did wrong
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Sorry, i missed that request. We docked in zadar today and went to krka national park which was cool. now heading to dubrovnik before hitting some tiny place in montenegro and then the rest of the cruise is to a bunch of places in greece.
 
having to pay a copay for a referral for imaging for something that 8 weeks of PT hasn't solved is annoying
 
TownieDeac said:
having to pay a copay for a referral for imaging for something that 8 weeks of PT hasn't solved is annoying
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i had to get some lumps in my neck checked out and the doctor's office never billed my insurance and never contacted me asking for payment, either. six months go by and i get a letter from a collector saying i owe a lot of money. i was less than pleased.
 
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