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CTCT: Featuring the Human Selfie Stick

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i think the problem with "letting kids test boundaries" is that if you get a phone at 11-12 no matter how many times your parents/teachers/etc tell you bullying is bad, you fucking grow up immediately in a cesspool of malefactors and assume that's just the way it is and has to be.

like you don't even realize you can opt out of all of that and still use the internet. But for kids phone is just camera and social apps b/c what other utility does a kid need a phone for? GPS...?
 
is there another song that timmy thinks we should be talking about? or is that it, because if so I think we have now exhausted the max warren zevon talk we should ever have
After Warren was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma, he forwent treatment so he could record one last album without his voice being affected. The Wind, released in 2003, was that album, and it included his version "Knocking on Heaven's Door". The album would conclude with the song "Keep me in your heart for a while." A man faced with his own mortality, chose to sing about what it felt like to be close to death. Warren would die less than two weeks after the album was released.



The book, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" compiled by his ex-wife Crystal, with assistance from Carl Hiassen, is a series of interviews of famous musicians who talk about the influence Warren had on them, as well as an attempt to explain his personality and general appeal. A remarkable existence.

Werewolves of London is not his best song, its just his most popular, it was a gag of his that took off. I would recommend Lawyers, Guns and Money as a starter. His whole career was full of ups and downs, and different phases, way too much for me to discuss when I am on a deadline.
 
i think the problem with "letting kids test boundaries" is that if you get a phone at 11-12 no matter how many times your parents/teachers/etc tell you bullying is bad, you fucking grow up immediately in a cesspool of malefactors and assume that's just the way it is and has to be.

like you don't even realize you can opt out of all of that and still use the internet. But for kids phone is just camera and social apps b/c what other utility does a kid need a phone for? GPS...?
I think my issue specifically (and also where I bought up testing boundaries) is around high school age, so 14-18?

I think your point about the internet kind brings home the point that they are still gonna experience all of this to some degree if they are at all computer literate (unless you are also blocking that aggressively).

Having a camera in your pocket like everyone else is kind of a big deal. Obviously texting/messaging is a big one, particularly if your kid wants to date. There are lots of utility apps on phones (access to bank account and ability to deposit checks if they get a part time job, apple wallet, bird identification apps, 2factor auth). Plus you're not even considering the ability to look up things at a moments notice or to even check the weather down to the minute if they are out and about.

If they are hanging out w/kids that have all these things and they don't, and that's compounded by the fact that you as a parent are regularly using your smart phone in front of them... it's probably gonna feel awfully unfair?
 
I think my issue specifically (and also where I bought up testing boundaries) is around high school age, so 14-18?

I think your point about the internet kind brings home the point that they are still gonna experience all of this to some degree if they are at all computer literate (unless you are also blocking that aggressively).

Having a camera in your pocket like everyone else is kind of a big deal. Obviously texting/messaging is a big one, particularly if your kid wants to date. There are lots of utility apps on phones (access to bank account and ability to deposit checks if they get a part time job, apple wallet, bird identification apps, 2factor auth). Plus you're not even considering the ability to look up things at a moments notice or to even check the weather down to the minute if they are out and about.

If they are hanging out w/kids that have all these things and they don't, and that's compounded by the fact that you as a parent are regularly using your smart phone in front of them... it's probably gonna feel awfully unfair?
If my children feeling that something wasn't fair was a parenting metric, then I would be universally derided as the worst father on the face of the planet. I am not the worst father on the face of the planet. What my children perceive as fair may be a valid consideration in some contexts. I think that those contexts are extremely narrow.
 
A lot of it is by proxy. Also, there's no indication of a physical threat, per se, and that makes it all the easier to chalk it up to sensitivity/misunderstanding/he-said-she-said not to mention the notion that there's no such thing as a "perfect victim" which is where this colloquial expectation of contributory negligence seems to creep into people's mindsets.
Until there is. Be safe. All good vibes for you and yours.
 
If my children feeling that something wasn't fair was a parenting metric, then I would be universally derided as the worst father on the face of the planet. I am not the worst father on the face of the planet. What my children perceive as fair may be a valid consideration in some contexts. I think that those contexts are extremely narrow.
Let me rephrase... I think from my point of view it seems unfair and unjustly so. If I'm imposing a decision that I can't really justify to them then IMO it stands to do long-term harm to my relationship with my child and maybe isolate them even more. The whole "do as I say not as I do" thing was not something my parents ever did and I'm grateful for that and have a great relationship with them.

I only have a 4 year old, so maybe I'm just being naïve IDK.
 
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