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Do you eat alone with the opposite sex?

Lunch?

  • Of course

    Votes: 77 90.6%

  • Yes, but my SO would not like it

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, I stand with Mike Pence

    Votes: 8 9.4%

  • Doofus only eats with Numbers

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    85
PhDeac said:
Not sure if that helps. I'm glad I did that but I have plenty of friends who didn't and we all encountered unexpected things.

Far be it from me to tell a bro who meets the girl of his dreams in high school or college to wait until 30.
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you're going to have unexpected things no matter how old you are but you're going to cut down on some of the "i don't want to be an X for the rest of my life, i want to do Y instead but now i have a wife and maybe a house and XYZ"
 
ImTheCaptain said:
you're going to have unexpected things no matter how old you are but you're going to cut down on some of the "i don't want to be an X for the rest of my life, i want to do Y instead but now i have a wife and maybe a house and XYZ"
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So true. You think you've dipped into the astroglide gel and it turns out to be icy hot and you scream and she screams and water doesn't help and oops dammit wrong thread...
 
TheTwinAndreBen said:
obvs, but the point PH, Townie and I are making (*shudder*), is that you can talk yourselves to death about what your hopes and dreams and preferences and herpy derpy blah blah derp, and that's all good and what you should do before getting murried, but (i) life has a way of smacking the F out ppl that even the most prepared/educated/careful of us can't anticipate and (ii) there is really just no way to prepare/predict your reaction to some marriage and children situations.
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Oh, I know, and I agree with you guys. I'm not saying you go into it all with a gameplan or bust!, but you should at least talk about things and have some idea of how the other person thinks and approaches situations and setbacks. In my experience, it's the difference in dealing with setbacks that puts the greatest strain on a relationship. :noidea:
 
Good Example:

Female friend since HS is an exec for Co-Cola here in the A. She prolly makes 150k+ a year. She had her first baby girl 2 years ago. Husband has some sort of corny finance job also so they do pretty well. As such they got an AZN au pair so moms could go back to work (she is a super Type A career type, presumably like the dwarf bride mentioned hereinabove). The whole fam plus the au pair comes out to my fam's lake house one weekend. Erebody but au pair comes out on the boat, we roll out on the lake only about 10 mins from house. Then we take the baby in her lil baby life jacket out to the back of the boat, sit her down on the ski deck and put her feet in the warm water. Baby goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S like screaming bloody murder.

Mom and dad cannot get baby to calm down AT ALL, to the point where we have to come back in. 10 min boat ride back baby is still screaming while mom and dad are passing her back and forth like a hot potato. We get back to dock where AZN au pair is laying out, and as soon as we get off boat au pair realizes baby is going nuts, takes her from mom and BOOM baby is quiet and happy immediately. Like you flipped a switch.

The look on my friend's face was one of total defeat as she realized that she was really not that kids mom, and that she was paying someone to be the kids mom. She was just super fucking bummed the rest of the weekend. Its 'decisions' like that where you are unprepared for the emotional consequences no matter how much thought you put in beforehand.
 
Yeah, but the conversations you have leading up to those moments allow you, as a couple, to decide what to do next. If she decides to quit her job so she can be a SAHM, that's a pretty drastic change for hubby as well. If you're able to talk about and support each other in those moments, it'll be a big change, but it'll be ok. If you never talk about the 'what ifs' you're kinda screwed.

I think we're "arguing" the same point.
 
TheTwinAndreBen said:
Good Example:

Female friend since HS is an exec for Co-Cola here in the A. She prolly makes 150k+ a year. She had her first baby girl 2 years ago. Husband has some sort of corny finance job also so they do pretty well. As such they got an AZN au pair so moms could go back to work (she is a super Type A career type, presumably like the dwarf bride mentioned hereinabove). The whole fam plus the au pair comes out to my fam's lake house one weekend. Erebody but au pair comes out on the boat, we roll out on the lake only about 10 mins from house. Then we take the baby in her lil baby life jacket out to the back of the boat, sit her down on the ski deck and put her feet in the warm water. Baby goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S like screaming bloody murder.

Mom and dad cannot get baby to calm down AT ALL, to the point where we have to come back in. 10 min boat ride back baby is still screaming while mom and dad are passing her back and forth like a hot potato. We get back to dock where AZN au pair is laying out, and as soon as we get off boat au pair realizes baby is going nuts, takes her from mom and BOOM baby is quiet and happy immediately. Like you flipped a switch.

The look on my friend's face was one of total defeat as she realized that she was really not that kids mom, and that she was paying someone to be the kids mom. She was just super fucking bummed the rest of the weekend. Its 'decisions' like that where you are unprepared for the emotional consequences no matter how much thought you put in beforehand.
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Pics ? Not of the baby. Or you.
 
lbE08 said:
Yeah, but the conversations you have leading up to those moments allow you, as a couple, to decide what to do next. If she decides to quit her job so she can be a SAHM, that's a pretty drastic change for hubby as well. If you're able to talk about and support each other in those moments, it'll be a big change, but it'll be ok. If you never talk about the 'what ifs' you're kinda screwed.

I think we're "arguing" the same point.
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I'm always a proponent of communication, but I think just having a strong relationship/good communication is the important part, not whether you've talked out all the scenarios. Even if you've talked about it you really can't imagine how you'll react in the situation. I can see a scenario where a couple talked about one person staying home with kids if it was ever needed, then when it actually is needed that person balking and not being down.
 
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