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Marriage

Bronson Pinchot said:
Aside from denying a biological imperative to spread your seed wide and far,
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Evolutionary biology is actually starting to turn against that hypothesis, if not at least providing strong theories to the contrary.
 
Semi-Tough Deac said:
A friend of a friend, in his 40s, got married recently. Like most, I thought that if he'd made it that far he might as well just continue on and remain a cocksman. Someone brought this up to him and asked why get married now? He replied, "Man, I need the accountability." That's not why I got married, but I get it. Without my wife, I would be a total mess. I know this because if she ever leaves for a weekend or more, I turn into a 22 year old and all the old habits come back. Not to say I don't enjoy those times occasionally, but it's no way to live. Self destructive behavior, just like all of us eventually, gets old.

You can look at marriage as a fairy tale, Princess Bride thing, i.e. two souls becoming one through true love, etc. Or you can look at it as two people, who love each other, committing to live their lives together, with all that it brings, for their mutual benefit in all aspects.

If I had married my wife within the first year of meeting her, it would have been under the first viewpoint. But we got married about ten years after that first make out session (there was a good 6 year hiatus in there for college and after, thank God), and at that point the consideration of marriage took the form of the second viewpoint.

In other words, the decision to marry someone involves more than just loving that person. That should be a given. My two cents.
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Bro -

Charleston trip in mid april....i'm trying to pull it together for my B-day...WLFS is in for sure
 
By the looks of posts on this thread, I'm older than most of you. I was married for 17 years and when I was younger I was all into the family, suburbs, cul de sac party, swim team, scrapbooking, dinner partying, week at the beach, church every Sunday, minivan driving, landscaping lifestyle. Looking back the kids are the only thing to come out of that time that are worthwhile. There is a ton of posing and bullshit in that lifestyle and I am much happier without it. It's funny when you get divorced and stay in your neighborhood the wives don't like their husbands hanging out with you anymore. I wonder why?

I have a better relationship with my kids and am so much happier now. At some point my ex and I realized we were trying to live a lifestyle instead of live a life. That's all I'll warn you younguns about. Just make sure you are living a life you want. I'm in a committed relationship that is not headed for marriage. We don't live together and don't plan to take that step either. I guess there is a possibility of marriage when all our kids are grown but I doubt it.
 
ibleedgoldandblack said:
This thread bears all the hallmarks of the self-indulgent, mental masturbation that my generation does that causes older generations to think we're idiots.
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Not sure why. Older generations have given us a lot to ponder. As long as we don't go all Hamlet and just vacillate into nothingness, what's the harm in thoughtful contemplation?
 
scooter84 and WakeandBake make some good points.

Some of the marriage rituals discussed are, of course, complete BS. If you agree, just don't partake in them or find a suitable alternative.
 
myDeaconmyhand said:
Evolutionary biology is actually starting to turn against that hypothesis, if not at least providing strong theories to the contrary.
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Evolutionary biology is mental masturbation.

Jk. Link?

I know many primates mate for life, but I'd argue that's from a lack of evolutionary pressure. If our survival instinct really kicked in, banging would be impulse #1, I'd imagine.
 
Wuffey said:
By the looks of posts on this thread, I'm older than most of you. I was married for 17 years and when I was younger I was all into the family, suburbs, cul de sac party, swim team, scrapbooking, dinner partying, week at the beach, church every Sunday, minivan driving, landscaping lifestyle. Looking back the kids are the only thing to come out of that time that are worthwhile. There is a ton of posing and bullshit in that lifestyle and I am much happier without it.
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For those who aren't married and are reading Wuffey's post...it's doesn't have to be this way. You can have a family without all of the posing bullshit. :thumbsup:
 
I took my husband's last name because I wanted to. He told me it did not matter to him what last name I used and I know he meant it. He was pretty surprised that I wanted to change my last name, since I'm pretty independent. For me it makes me feel like we're a family and I'd like to have the same last name as any future children. My Dad did walk me down the aisle, but that was because it was very important to him. I don't think he saw it as giving me away, but more as one last special moment for us to enjoy together. My husband escorted his Mom down the aisle.

I enjoy the stability of being married. We have a lot in common (same hobbies, musical interests, etc...) so that makes spending our free time together really enjoyable. It definitely is not for everyone though and I would never have gotten married because I felt pressured to or like it was the next logical step. We've only been married just shy of three years, but we've been together for nearly ten years now and it is striking to see how we've both changed. Hopefully as we continue to grow and change we won't grow apart.
 
i like the steady pussy

oh wait.............
 
RacerDeac said:
For those who aren't married and are reading Wuffey's post...it's doesn't have to be this way. You can have a family without all of the posing bullshit. :thumbsup:
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No doubt. Just make sure the relationship is the center of the decision and not the lifestyle. That's all I'm saying. I'm know I'm bitter about marriage because of the experience I had. I married a woman that was 28 and felt she was behind in her life plan. I was just a means to an end. I gave her everything she said she wanted. She was still not happy because the relationship just wasn't there.

I have a great family. My 3 kids are great.
 
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Just got off the phone with a vendor. She's 24 years old and we talk every week and when we get done with business stuff we do the smalltalk deal and ask about each other and have one of those business friendships. She said she got engaged over the weekend. Twenty fucking four. I wanted to bring up this thread but of course I congratulated her and oohed and ahhhed about it and all that shit. But if she was a real friend and not a business friend I would have implored to her wait until she was over 30. But hey, que sera sera. Live and learn i reckon
 
RacerDeac said:
For those who aren't married and are reading Wuffey's post...it's doesn't have to be this way. You can have a family without all of the posing bullshit. :thumbsup:
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Yeah. Some people complaining about marriage are doing it wrong.

And to that point, Milhouse, in marriage you know who, what, and how, but you don't know then when and the why.
 
I'm looking forward to the day that I just don't give a shit about getting pussy.

That's the day you win life.
 
WakeandBake said:
Just got off the phone with a vendor. She's 24 years old and we talk every week and when we get done with business stuff we do the smalltalk deal and ask about each other and have one of those business friendships. She said she got engaged over the weekend. Twenty fucking four. I wanted to bring up this thread but of course I congratulated her and oohed and ahhhed about it and all that shit. But if she was a real friend and not a business friend I would have implored to her wait until she was over 30. But hey, que sera sera. Live and learn i reckon
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I got married at 26 and am still quite happily married to the same woman thirty years later. It does happen, you know.
 
Shorty said:
I got married at 26 and am still quite happily married to the same woman thirty years later. It does happen, you know.
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my parents got married at 20 (mom) and 21 (dad). they celebrated 40 years this past summer. for some people, 20 is too young. for others 30 is still too young. some people will never be ready. others can build a very happy marriage even if they get married really young.
 
my grandparents just celebrated their 59th anniversary (when mom asked what they were doing, my grandma said "oh honey, it's not a big one... we'll do something grand next year." i love my grandma so much.), she and granddaddy are 84. my parents are coming up on their 32nd.

i want that.
 
WakeandBake said:
I'm looking forward to the day that I just don't give a shit about getting pussy.

That's the day you win life.
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You think Lena Dunham has cute boobs. You're already there.
 
buckets said:
Back to the OP... seems like you need to have two separate discussions:

1 - whether or not marriage as an institution makes sense in today's society
2 - wedding/marriage traditions

As others have pointed out... it is quite easy to have a wedding without all the "stupid" traditions you pointed out (father walking the daughter, dowry, etc.).
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If anyone out there is actually taking a dowry seriously in 2013, you need to go see a doctor.
 
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