Were you sober when you got married?

[marquee moon]

Catholic weddings are a full hour. Sometimes more depending on the length of the homily. I didn't attend my first non-Catholic wedding until after law school and was shocked by how quick the ceremony was. Pleasantly shocked mind you. I don't need the whole mass, just the wedding portion.

Husband and I were both sober during the ceremony. I had a glass or two of champagne while getting ready. I'm not sure if he had a beer or not. All of the groomsmen were sober for the ceremony too. The groomsmen were not sober for the reception, but that was fine.

catholic weddings suck balls

 

[DeaconCav06]

catholic weddings suck balls

This guy gets it.

The wedding is a celebration. I seem to remember something about a wedding in Cana and some water and some wine.

Im not saying I plane on being hammered one day. But I plan on sipping on some good Bourbon with my groomsmen before the ceremony.

 

[TheTwinAndreBen]

I was a groomsman in a 300+ person catholic wedding with full mass and communion last august. Ceremony was almost 2 hours. Divorce was finalized in May.

 

[Shorty]

This guy gets it.

The wedding is a celebration. I seem to remember something about a wedding in Cana and some water and some wine.

Im not saying I plane on being hammered one day. But I plan on sipping on some good Bourbon with my groomsmen before the ceremony.

My wife and I were in Edinburgh, Scotland several years ago and one evening after touring around we were having a pint at a pub on the Royal Mile. This party of groomsmen and the groom came in and sat down beside us so the groom could have his last pint as a single man with his buds. They were in the full local get up. kilts included. My wife asked the guy next to her if it was true about what a real Scotsman wears under his kilt. Whereupon the guy lifted up the back side of his kilt revealing one of the biggest, whitest asses I'd ever seen.

I bet that was a fun wedding and reception.

 

[DeacHoops]

Nothing wrong with celebrating, issue is when I find groomsmen drinking out of flasks in church parking lot, acting like the church part is just a buzz kill to the wedding festivities. If you don't want the church in your wedding, then don't.

oh i agree completely with your entire point (and if i were having a church wedding, i probably wouldn't drink before it out of respect. mine is still a christian wedding, just outside). i certainly don't plan on being drunk at any point during the day (even reception. i'll drink, but i want to remember that day, and too much alcohol doesn't lend itself well to remembering). i was just making the point that even as someone who intends to drink a little bit before the wedding, i still completely agree with the point that you were making about the attitudes going into the ceremony.

 

[RevDeac06]

I seem to remember something about a wedding in Cana and some water and some wine.

If you want to do Biblical exegesis, put your big boy pants on...

ETA- That was rather snarky. Just meant that to compare a wedding from 1st century Palestine to 21st century USA is crazy. Plus that passage isn't about the wedding, it's about the sign.

 

[RevDeac06]

The wedding is a celebration.

Yes, but it's also a Sacrament (if we're talking about a liturgical church wedding). Not saying you can't have some celebratory drinks (even beforehand), but people should give proper reverence. IMO, being buzzed isn't reverent.

 

[DeaconCav06]

If you want to do Biblical exegesis, put your big boy pants on...

ETA- That was rather snarky. Just meant that to compare a wedding from 1st century Palestine to 21st century USA is crazy. Plus that passage isn't about the wedding, it's about the sign.

Your mean the miracle.

I think to jdawg's point, and I mean this with all due respect Rev, for a lot of people the wedding has become sort of the eye of the storm as far as the wedding. All of my friends have lived with their SO's for extended periods of time and have all complained about the stress of wedding planning and say they're just ready for the reception and a drink.

 

[RevDeac06]

Your mean the miracle.

I think to jdawg's point, and I mean this with all due respect Rev, for a lot of people the wedding has become sort of the eye of the storm as far as the wedding. All of my friends have lived with their SO's for extended periods of time and have all complained about the stress of wedding planning and say they're just ready for the reception and a drink.

Yes, I mean the miracle. John, the gospel writer, calls them the miracles "signs," so I was just keeping with that language.

And that's a shame about weddings, because understood and approached properly, a wedding (and the ensuing marriage) can be a truly holy thing. But lots of people are just placating their parents by having a church wedding. And I really wish people would stand up to their parents and say "no."

Trust me, weddings are incredibly easy to plan if you're willing to go the route of simple, holy, meaningful instead of elegant and "oh my gosh I've been dreaming of this day since I was 6 and it has to be a fairy tale."

 

[lbE08]

Your mean the miracle.

I think to jdawg's point, and I mean this with all due respect Rev, for a lot of people the wedding has become sort of the eye of the storm as far as the wedding. All of my friends have lived with their SO's for extended periods of time and have all complained about the stress of wedding planning and say they're just ready for the reception and a drink.

..but one could still argue that despite all of the stress they've created, their living situation, etc, the wedding should still be about the commitment they're making to one another- especially if it's a church wedding- and the attitude towards the ceremony itself should still be one of respect/reverence.
obviously you want to celebrate, but you're celebrating the commitment (which shouldn't be taken lightly)- not just executing a grand party you've been planning for months.

 

[Deacfreak07]

..but one could still argue that despite all of the stress they've created, their living situation, etc, the wedding should still be about the commitment they're making to one another- especially if it's a church wedding- and the attitude towards the ceremony itself should still be one of respect/reverence.
obviously you want to celebrate, but you're celebrating the commitment (which shouldn't be taken lightly)- not just executing a grand party you've been planning for months.

Respect and reverence is somewhat personal, no? When I die, I want people partying hard at my funeral, most would not.

 

[Deacfreak07]

Weddings are funerals for BJs, and should be treated with the appropriate level of stoicism.

 

[Wakeforest22890]

I'd like to get married in a church but I'm religious at all. I also don't have any want or need to be wedded with God or whatever the holy aspect of marriage is, I just like the church as a venue.

 

[Deacfreak07]

I'd like to get married in a church but I'm religious at all. I also don't have any want or need to be wedded with God or whatever the holy aspect of marriage is, I just like the church as a venue.

Just from an aesthetic point of view?

 

[DeaconBrews]

Weddings are funerals for BJs, and should be treated with the appropriate level of stoicism.

 

[RevDeac06]

Respect and reverence is somewhat personal, no? When I die, I want people partying hard at my funeral, most would not.

If you're talking about a church funeral and not just some "memorial gathering," then you're wrong in assuming that your funeral is about you, because it isn't. The primary focus of a funeral, understood properly, is the Resurrection, not the deceased. But it speaks to the larger problem, people forgetting that the Sacraments of the Church aren't for personalizing; they are larger than the participants.

 

[RevDeac06]

I'd like to get married in a church but I'm religious at all. I also don't have any want or need to be wedded with God or whatever the holy aspect of marriage is, I just like the church as a venue.

And I mean no disrespect, but if you came to me and told me that, I'd refuse. I can't, in good conscience, let you stand before the altar and just lie because you think the church is pretty. But I'd hope that people could respect that and would actually appreciate clergy taking what they do seriously.

 

[DeaconBrews]

If you're talking about a church funeral and not just some "memorial gathering," then you're wrong in assuming that your funeral is about you, because it isn't. The primary focus of a funeral, understood properly, is the Resurrection, not the deceased. But it speaks to the larger problem, people forgetting that the Sacraments of the Church aren't for personalizing; they are larger than the participants.

luckily it's not like he can pop out of the casket and disagree at that point

 

[RevDeac06]

luckily it's not like he can pop out of the casket and disagree at that point

:thumbsup:

 

[Deacfreak07]

If you're talking about a church funeral and not just some "memorial gathering," then you're wrong in assuming that your funeral is about you, because it isn't. The primary focus of a funeral, understood properly, is the Resurrection, not the deceased. But it speaks to the larger problem, people forgetting that the Sacraments of the Church aren't for personalizing; they are larger than the participants.

Fair enough. I'm from the Baptist tradition, so we tend to make things more personal. I got no hate for you and your liturgical perspective though.