Recent content by Pope Bendadick

What's the big deal? It was just one guy.

You need to add a character for Notre Dame. Is there anyone on The Simpsons who lays waste to Springfield and dominates completely? Ahhh, yes.

This man speaks the truth. Teams would suck our dicks to play us. If you don't believe me, look in the mirror. We came to your place and won and you rolled out the red carpet like it was the first football game ever in North Carolina. Then you came up to South Bend and we butt-raped you on...

I'll be back tomorrow for you all to pay your penance.

These guys are amateurs.

Wait one minute. While Miami offers a cornucopia of opportunities for the tourist with its world-reknowned nightlife and sportfishing, and it's definitely a locale of interest to the Church with its concentration of Latinos and high school football players, we thought that we were going to be...

You're welcome.

We will never join your pathetic conference as a full member. But you will soon become intimately affiliated with our member up your baptist asses. We're going to use the ACC you like a 9-year old altar boy, take your bowl money, keep our BCS money, and bust your travel budgets. A man in my...

Wait, how long has it been since your last confession. The imaginary women thing is impure? That's worth about 50 Hail Marys. The part about the Ravens winning the Super Bowl though, that's pure blasphemy. Do 200 God Our Fathers and you are absolved.

Why do they cancel all the good shows about Roman Catholics? It's a form of defamation.

Lutherans, well all protestants really, are so fucking stupid.

God, or something like it is winning 59 to 32! Suck it athiests! PS: You're going to hell! Not Purgatory, HELL! Like Hitler.

He makes a fair point. We priests are universally loved and looked up to in the community. Prepubescent boys know that we're horny and will jump them if they give us the right cues. This temptation is difficult to resist.

We're going to beat the snot out of you baptists in November.

I hope there was a priest on board to hots confessions and administer the last rites. Those folks really need some unction. Unfortunately they're probably a bunch of Shintoists. A thousand years in Purgatory should do them wonders,