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"Terrible" Things You've Done

Oh I remembered one. My cousin (same age as me, we were buds) hated this heavy girl in his class. The local Hostess shop every Thursday would throw out their expired doughnuts and cakes, and we'd dumpster dive it, fill up his pickup truck, and then toss them all on her lawn. I even felt bad about it at the time, but he had a car and I didn't so...
 
I've always been jealous of my older brother. He's one of those types that's very good looking, everybody likes him, everything comes easy to him. My parents always favored him to me. He married the love of his life about eight years ago. From what I can tell, they're very happy together. About five years ago they had their first child, a son. He seems to like me but he's insanely annoying. He's always getting in to trouble and his dad just lets him get away with it. We all live together in the same general area so I see my nephew like every day.

Anyway...

A few months ago, I told my nephew that I had a surprise for him and told him to wait until I came back. I left, knowing that he wouldn't be safe where I left him and sure enough, it wasn't long until he was in bad trouble. I went and told his dad who immediately went and saved him but ultimately died in the process. My nephew was understandably crushed and I made him think it was his fault that his dad died and he ran away from home.

Shortly after that, I took my brother's wife for my own. I never told her what really happened and probably never will.

I ended up inviting a bunch of hyenas to live with us. They're funny but they eat a lot and now there isn't enough food for everyone.
 
Brangus said:
I was walking back from a tree stand after an unsuccessful deer hunt and saw two raccoons dancing and bouncing in the grass under some pines on a crisp early morning. They weren't fighting....seemed to be playing or maybe it was a mating thing. Just bouncing in Disney-esque fashion.


I shot them both. They literally exploded from the .30 caliber bullet. I'm still not sure why I did that, and always felt pretty bad about it even though they died instantly and raccoons are common. I took them to a fellow that eats them and he got some meat off what remained. He looked at me strangely and said nothing but a quiet "thanks" when he saw the carcasses. I didn't like myself for a while after that.
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Seriously. What the fuck is this?
 
lokisapocalypse said:
I've always been jealous of my older brother. He's one of those types that's very good looking, everybody likes him, everything comes easy to him. My parents always favored him to me. He married the love of his life about eight years ago. From what I can tell, they're very happy together. About five years ago they had their first child, a son. He seems to like me but he's insanely annoying. He's always getting in to trouble and his dad just lets him get away with it. We all live together in the same general area so I see my nephew like every day.

Anyway...

A few months ago, I told my nephew that I had a surprise for him and told him to wait until I came back. I left, knowing that he wouldn't be safe where I left him and sure enough, it wasn't long until he was in bad trouble. I went and told his dad who immediately went and saved him but ultimately died in the process. My nephew was understandably crushed and I made him think it was his fault that his dad died and he ran away from home.

Shortly after that, I took my brother's wife for my own. I never told her what really happened and probably never will.

I ended up inviting a bunch of hyenas to live with us. They're funny but they eat a lot and now there isn't enough food for everyone.
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Sounds an awful like Scar luring Simba away in Lion King
 
I once faked drowning in a swimming pool to get the attractive older lifeguard to give me mouth-to-mouth. Eventually, I slipped her the tongue and she freaked out.
 
When I was in college me and a buddy drove to Charlotte for a WSP concert. We were smashing beers all the way down, smoking buds etc... pulling into the lot my buddy side swipes a car. Being underage, drunk and high I grab the buds and beer and dip out of the car and into the lot before the cops came. I had a great time at the show while my buddy picked up a DUI and spent the night in jail.
 
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out! But the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life!
 
I secretly pulled against Wake in the Buzz years. Deep down I wanted us to lose and lose as badly as possible... Terrible.
 
There was a real estate company in my town called Conestoga Realty that had a Conestoga Wagon on the lawn in front of their office building. One night, my buddies and I drank a bunch o beers and decided it would be a cool thing to drive by the building with a gas can, rags, and bow and arrows in the car and shoot flaming arrows at the wagon. On about the third pass, we hit it. When we drove by again it was completely engulfed. The thing was probably tinder at that point.

Made the local papers next day and everything.
 
Shorty said:
There was a real estate company in my town called Conestoga Realty that had a Conestoga Wagon on the lawn in front of their office building. One night, my buddies and I drank a bunch o beers and decided it would be a cool thing to drive by the building with a gas can, rags, and bow and arrows in the car and shoot flaming arrows at the wagon. On about the third pass, we hit it. When we drove by again it was completely engulfed. The thing was probably tinder at that point.

Made the local papers next day and everything.
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Some dumb-ass high-schoolers in our town got the brilliant idea to set fire to Santa's House which was downtown on the courthouse square. They set it on fire on a weeknight around midnight; the fire is about 2 blocks from the police station, and a car with 4 teenagers out and about that time of night was easy pickin's when the call went out.
 
There's a fantastic pub near Worrell House in London called Steeles that I went to almost every night

One night I had way too many and stole a taxidermied tiger head that was hanging on the wall and brought it back to the house

I felt so bad about it the next morning I brought it back

They were so confused and I was so ashamed I basically couldn't come back
 
I have:
1.Shoved an elderly co-worker who embarrassed me in a meeting
2.Told my grandmom to shut up
3.Smashed a family heirloom rocking chair
4.Been dismissed from a university
5.Locked someone out of the house during a rainstorm, then laughed at them in the window
6.Played hide-and-seek with people's meals when they went to the restroom. Sometimes in restaurants ...
7.Given away my friend's barstool AND beer when he went to the restroom - then laughed at his confusion with my new friends.
8.Routinely swapped one kid's entire locker contents with another's during my free-period (no locks because we had an honor system)
9.Rooted against the USA in the Olympics against all-comers.

Probably more but Fargo is on so see ya
 
In 9th grade, a mousy broad invited me to the school dance. When it happened, I was super caught off guard and said sure. Then as I thought about it more over the next couple of days I got embarrassed and went back to her and told her I couldn't go with her. Didn't even end up going to the dance at all. Felt very bad about it, as she was a nice gal.
 
Say Hey Deac said:
In 9th grade, a mousy broad invited me to the school dance. When it happened, I was super caught off guard and said sure. Then as I thought about it more over the next couple of days I got embarrassed and went back to her and told her I couldn't go with her. Didn't even end up going to the dance at all. Felt very bad about it, as she was a nice gal.
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I think I had two or three moments similar to this, except my strategy of choice was just ignoring the girl. All of them were nice girls, too.

I was a beta young teen.
 
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